Bring Your Child To Work Day --

I Think You Can Use Some Of Those Words On Tv. But One Thing You Can't Do Is Throw Coffee, I've Said It Over And Over Again!

When Martha Gets Out She'll Be Under House Arrest In Her Big $40 Million Mansion In Bedford. Boy, That'll Teach Her. She's Only Allowed Out Of The House For Doctors Visits, Grocery Shopping, Or To Dump More Stock.

I Knew That If I Woke Up Hung Over, I Couldn't Do The Best Possible Job On The Show, So I Had To Quit. Also, I'd Consumed A Lot Of Beer For A Lot Of Years, And I Thought, That's Enough. I've Had My Fun And I'm Glad I Quit.

The United States Has Launched Airstrikes Against Isis. It's Being Called 'operation Approval Ratings.'

I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And I Always Have Been.