Boy, I Miss The Days They Made

Why Do People Give Each Other Flowers? To Celebrate Various Important Occasions, They’re Killing Living Creatures? Why Restrict It To Plants? 'sweetheart, Let’s Make Up. Have This Deceased Squirrel.

People Who Read The Tabloids Deserve To Be Lied To.

If You Go To A Bad Movie, It's Two Hours. If You're In A Bad Movie, It's Two Years.

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.

I'll Tell You One Thing, Since I'm Married, Single People Look Absolutely Ridiculous To Me.