Books Can Be Misleading...

Welcome To A New Year At Hogwarts! Before We Begin Our Banquet, I Would Like To Say A Few Words. And Here They Are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Of All The Subjects On This Planet, I Think My Parents Would Have Been Hard Put To Name One Less Useful Than Greek Mythology To Securing The Keys To An Executive Bathroom.

Never," Said Hagrid Irritably, "try An' Get A Straight Answer Out Of A Centaur. Ruddy Stargazers. Not Interested In Anythin' Closer'n The Moon.

Life, For Colin, Was One Long Brace Against Pain And Disappointment, And Everybody Apart From His Wife Was An Enemy Until Proven Otherwise.

Anyone Can Speak Troll. All You Have To Do Is Point And Grunt.