...because Really, Sometimes The Irony Gods Just

In Them, She Saw The Sham Of Her Life Laid Out Like A Book, The Foolish Belief That She, That Anyone, Could Escape The Consequences Of This World, Could Flee From Death. That Was The Deceit. The True Serpent In The Garden.

Men Have Feelings Too, You Know. You Bruise The Petals Of My Manflower.

Look, I Know This Seems A Little Half-assed...' 'no, Dude. I'd Be Thrilled If This Plan Were Half-assed. This Is, Like, No-assed.' 'you're Right. It's The Most No-assed Thing I've Ever Done In My Life.

Perhaps This Is How Girls Fall -- Not In Some Crime Of Enchantment At The Hands Of A Wicked Ne'er-do-well, A Grand Before And After In Which They Are Innocent Victims Who Have No Say In The Matter. Perhaps They Simply Are Kissed And Want To Kiss Back. Perhaps They Even Kiss First. And Why Should They Not?

The Man In The Shop Peered Disapprovingly At Evie Through The Glass. She Pumped Her Arms And Legs Up And Down In Imitation Of A Marching Band, Gave The Man A Salute, And Continued Her Meandering Walk To The Museum.