At My Sexiest, I Look Like An

I Think It's Perfectly Acceptable And Rather Admirable To Be Moderately Delusional

I Was Wearing Women's Jeans Way Before It Was Cool For Guys To Wear Them. I Have A Weird Torso - It's Incredibly Short, And Only Girl-pants Fit Me Properly.

I Was Horrified Of The Dark. I Realized That The Only Way I Could Get Over That Fear Was By Scaring Other People, So I Became Obsessed With Ghost Stories, Drawing Monsters, Watching Monster Movies, Sneaking Into Horror Movies, And It's Just Been The Love Of My Life Forever.

I've Seen So Many Beautiful Curvy Women Gain Success In Hollywood And Then Wither Into Bobble Headed Stick Figures In Some Grotesque Attempt To Fit A Revolting Hollywood Trend. I Like Real Women, Not The Broomsticks That Hollywood Has Been Selling Lately.

I'm Obsessed With Coffee. My Doctor Says If I Don't Cut Back, I Am Going To Permanently Damage My Esophagus. No Joke.