As A Citizen And Someone Who Was

So I Was Still Guilty. And If I Was Not Guilty Because One Cannot Be Guilty Of Betraying A Criminal, Then I Was Guilty Of Having Loved A Criminal.

I'm Not Frightened. I'm Not Frightened Of Anything. The More I Suffer, The More I Love. Danger Will Only Increase My Love. It Will Sharpen It, Forgive Its Vice. I Will Be The Only Angel You Need. You Will Leave Life Even More Beautiful Than You Entered It. Heaven Will Take You Back And Look At You And Say: Only One Thing Can Make A Soul Complete And That Thing Is Love.

Does Everyone Feel This Way? When I Was Young, I Was Perpetually Overconfident Or Insecure. Either I Felt Completely Useless, Unattractive, And Worthless, Or That I Was Pretty Much A Success, And Everything I Did Was Bound To Succeed. When I Was Confident, I Could Overcome The Hardest Challenges. But All It Took Was The Smallest Setback For Me To Be Sure That I Was Utterly Worthless. Regaining My Self-confidence Had Nothing To Do With Success...whether I Experienced It As A Failure Or Triumph Was Utterly Dependent On My Mood.

I Didn't Like The Way I Looked, The Way I Dressed And Moved, What I Achieved And What I Felt I Was Worth. But There Was So Much Energy In Me, Such Belief That One Day I'd Be Handsome And Clever And Superior And Admired, Such Anticipation When I Met New People And New Situations. Is That What Makes Me Sad? The Eagerness And Belief That Filled Me Then And Exacted A Pledge From Life That Life Could Never Fulfill? Sometimes I See The Same Eagerness And Belief In The Faces Of Children And Teenagers And The Sight Brings Back The Same Sadness I Feel In Remembering Myself.

There's This Old Saying That, If You Aren't Particularly Gifted In Natural Sciences, If You Don't Want To Become A Teacher Or Pastor Or Doctor, And Don't Know What Else To Do, Then You Become A Lawyer. But I've Never Regretted It.