An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who

Happiness Is Your Dentist Telling You It Won't Hurt And Then Having Him Catch His Hand In The Drill.

People Will Pay More To Be Entertained Than Educated.

Do You Know My Dream? I Really Want To Become An Aluminum-siding Salesman.

I'm Not One Of Those Who Spring Up Yelling, "yippee! Another Day!" I'll Grumble And Sulk Around A Couple Of Hours, Reading Newspapers And Trying To Pick Out An Idea I Might Do Something With On The Show. But I Don't Really Start Functioning Until Noon Or Later; Then About Two I Go To The Studio And The Pace Begins To Quicken.

I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You. If You Don't Hurt Anybody Else, What You Do Is Your Own Business.