Alfie Was The First Time I Was

I'm The Audience's Representative On Earth.

I Did Everything. I Ran My Life Exactly As I Wanted To, All The Time. I Never Listened To Anybody. I'm Pig-headed.

I Don't Have To Work, Really, But I Do Enjoy Working, And I Do Enjoy Getting Paid.

At 69, I Got The Girl! And It Wasn't A 68-year-old Girl, Either.

I Don't Think Human Beings Are Bad. They're Weak. And That's What Makes 'em Bad.