According To The New York Times, More

Congratulations To President Obama On Being Reelected President Of The United States. Turns Out It Is Not All Bad News For The Republicans. It Seems That Depression Is Covered By Obamacare.

Geraldo Has Returned To The States. See? I Told You Airline Security Was A Joke.

Postal Inspectors Have Been Given Advanced Warning That Publishers Clearinghouse Is Sending Packets Of Laundry Detergent That Could Be Mistaken For Anthrax. Oh, Good Timing. What Genius Came Up With This Promotion? What's Next - A Ticking Alarm Clock? Let's Put That In A Box.

John Kerry And Ralph Nader Met Face-to-face, It Was A Historic Meeting. Astronomers Said Today Their Meeting Actually Created What Is Called A 'charisma Black Hole.'

President Bush Appeared With Arnold Schwarzenegger At A Huge Campaign Event. Only In California Can A Governor Who Speaks German And A President Who Can Barely Speak English Try To Make Themselves Clear To An Audience That's Primarily Spanish.