According To A New Poll, The Number

George W. Bush Gave A Commencement Speech At Southern Methodist University This Weekend. It Was Pretty Inspirational. He Said, 'as I Like To Tell The 'c' Students, You Too Can Be President.' Even George W. Bush Has George W. Bush Comedy Material In His Act.

Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones On The Subway, For Looking Like What Would've Happened If Jabba The Hutt Mated With Princess Leia.

Yesterday The Ceo Of Citigroup Said That He Can Understand Why All These Occupy Wall Street Protesters Are So Frustrated. In Fact, He Felt So Bad For Them, He Gave Himself A $10 Million Sympathy Bonus.

Ten Delta Airlines Baggage Handlers Were Arrested For Smuggling Drugs Into Detroit. Yeah, You Can Tell Delta Was Involved, Because The Drugs Were Supposed To Be Smuggled Into Chicago.

You Only Think Of The Best Comeback When You Leave.