A Movie Is Kind Of Like Being

There Is No More Embarrassing Thing In My Life Than The Fact That I Have Actually Uttered The Phrase, 'i Would Like To Order The Ginsu Knife.'

The Four Levels Of Comedy: Make Your Friends Laugh, Make Strangers Laugh, Get Paid To Make Strangers Laugh, And Make People Talk Like You Because It's So Much Fun.

The Luge Is The Only Olympic Event Where You Could Have People Competing In It Against Their Will, And It Would Look Exactly The Same. Take People Off The Street, 'hey, Hey, Hey, What Is This?! I Don't Wanna Be In The Luge!' Once You Put That Helmet On Them, 'you're In The Luge, Buddy!' 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Aaaaaaaa...' World Record. Didn't Even Wanna Do It. I'd Like To See That Next Olympics, The Involuntary Luge.

Why Do People Give Each Other Flowers? To Celebrate Various Important Occasions, They’re Killing Living Creatures? Why Restrict It To Plants? 'sweetheart, Let’s Make Up. Have This Deceased Squirrel.

Actually, The Only Memory I Have Of Being A Cub Scout Was Trying To Get My Hat Back. That Was All I Did. Run Back And Forth At My Bus Stop Going "quit It."