A Lot Of The U.s. Used To

What We Do Have Is Nothin' But Time. Welcome To The Shawshank Redemption Of Late Night!

Other Than The Laws Of Physics, Rules Have Never Really Worked Out For Me.

Gas Prices - It Is $6 A Gallon Here. People In L.a. Are Furious. You Can't Tell, Of Course, Because Of The Botox.

My Son's Always Showing Me Pictures Of Dinosaurs And Asking Me What Their Names Are. I Dont Know So I Make Stuff Up: That Son Is A Thesaurus.

Delaware Senate Candidate Christine O'donnell Said Recently That Hollywood Needs To Re-evaluate What They're Doing Because Movies These Days Are All Filled With Gay Sex And Extramarital Affairs. And I Thought, 'have Fun In Congress Then.