A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."

I'm A Big Fan Of The Mars Bar Diet. You Don't Eat The Mars Bar, You Stick It Up Your Arse And Let A Rottweiler Chase You Home.

I've Always Liked It Here. Part Of Me Is Irish. My Family Comes From The West Coast, So Whenever I Come To Ireland I Get A Wee Tingling In My Heart That I'm Where I Belong.

I Think The Longer Britain Is In Europe The Better.

I Think Of My Life As A Series Of Moments And I've Found That The Great Moments Often Don't Have Too Much To Them. They're Not Huge, Complicated Events; They're Just Magical Wee Moments When Somebody Says 'i Love You' Or 'you're A Really Good At What You Do' Or Simply 'you're A Good Person'.