List of Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Let's All Start Walking More And Driving Less.

Sex Hasn't Been The Same Since Women Started Enjoying It.

I Grew Up In A Very Large Family In A Very Small House. I Never Slept Alone Until After I Was Married.

If You Are Not The Lead Dog, Your Scenery Never Changes.

They Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.

On A New York Subway You Get Fined For Spitting, But You Can Throw Up For Nothing.

Elvis Is Dead And I Don't Feel So Good For Myself.

When My Love Returns From The Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?

Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Terminal Disease.

Mama Had An Appreciation Of The Language. She Taught Me A Love Of Words, Of How They Should Be Used And How They Can Fill A Creative Soul With A Passion And Lead To A Life's Work.

If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About A Quart Low.

Spring Time Is The Land Awakening.