List of Jean Kerr Quotes

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

I Have Noticed That In Plays Where The Characters On Stage Laugh A Great Deal, The People Out Front Laugh Very Little.

Dearer To Me Than The Evening Star A Packard Car A Hershey Bar Or A Bride In Her Rich Adorning Dearer Than Any Of These By Far Is To Lie In Bed In The Morning

I Know What I Wish Ralph Nader Would Investigate Next. Marriage. It's Not Safe, It's Not Safe At All.

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

Being On A Ship Is Something Like Being Pregnant. You Can Sit There And Do Absolutely Nothing But Stare At The Water And Have The Nicest Sense That You Are Accomplishing Something.

An Actor Can Remember His Briefest Notice Well Into Senescence And Long After He Has Forgotten His Phone Number And Where He Lives.

Movie Actors Are Just Ordinary, Mixed-up People - With Agents.

In The Beginning, We Made The Usual Mistake Of Looking At Houses We Could Afford. I Am Working On A Proposition, Hereafter To Be Known As Kerr's Law, Which States In Essence: All The Houses You Can Afford To Buy Are Depressing.

The Only Reason That They Say, 'women And Children First' Is To Test The Strength Of The Lifeboats.

You Can't Sleep Until Noon With The Proper Elan Unless You Have Some Legitimate Reason For Staying Up Until Three (parties Don't Count).

I Was Always The Last Woman On The Last Down Elevator As The Store Was Closing.